The Wedding Edition

It seems everyone in Hollywood is getting married or divorced these days. I mean if Scarlett Johhansen and Ryan Reynolds dont have a change to stay married, what good is it for a guy like the Entertainment Guru? First Courtney Cox and David Arquette now this?

But atleast Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minillo plus Jessica Simpson and Eric Johnson are giving it a shot. I know it sounds wrong but I'm all for placing bets which marriage lasts longer. I think I will have to say Lachey-Minillo. But not by much. Anyone want to take me up on that?

But perhaps the biggest shocking wedding of the year has to be Shania Twain. She is marrying the ex husband of her former best friend. Now what makes this more messed up is the fact that when her husband left her, it was for her best friend. This is a true example of wife swap. How messed up is next Christmas going to be at their houses?

And if that wasnt enough Hugh Hefner is marrying someone like 1/3 of his age. That's not at all disgusting. And by not disgusting I mean.... EWWWWWWWWW OLD SWEATY MAN PARTS

The Let's Go Crazy Edition

This edition is brought to you by Charlie Sheen, who like most of us, likes to trap porn stars in the bathroom of a ritzy hotel and destroy it. I mean, isn't that an every day occurence somewhere in the world. I have one trapped in my bathroom right now. I'd let her out, but I deceided to take a page out of Matthew McConahey's playbook. I'm playing the bongos naked. It's the only way to do it. How come we let celebrities get away with this crazy behavior? If I shaved my head like Britney Spears did a few years ago just out of the blue for no reason.... I'd be in solidary confinement. I mean I have NEVER done anything like that. And by never I mean... hey what's that over there?

Last week saw the return of Coco! Thats right, Conan O'Brien finally was allowed to return to TV on TBS in his new talk show. It's much like his last 2 shows. Even Andy Richter, who once controlled the Universe I'm told, is back as his side kick. On just the 2nd show he splashed a gallon of water on America's Treasure, Tom Hanks. It was just like his 80's classic movie, Splash. Without Daryl Hannah as my 2nd favorite Mermaid, behind Ariel of course.

I know it has been a while since my last update, and for that I apologize. I did try to post one last week with my first ever top ten, but it didn't work out well so hopefully soon I will work out the kinks in that.

Prince William is getting married to his long time love, Kate Middleton. He proposed in Africa. There is a rumor that he will wed her in the same place his parents got married. Yeah, good luck with that!

The Oscar talk is all ready starting. It seems to be early this year. There may be a few comdies that get nominated like "How Do You Know?". And it seems there is also a good chance that Toy Story 3 will get a picture nomination as well, it's atleast guranteed to win best animated.

A Review of Two New Shows Edition

The new season of TV is in full swing, with 4 weeks of new shows and 3 casualities all ready. So let's have a moment of silence for My Generation, Lonestar, and Outlaw who didn't quite make it very long.

I have seen two of the new shows so here is the good and the bad reviews. Starting.... with the bad.... Outsourced....

The basic premise is an American goes to India to run a call center for american novelty products like fake blood, fake vomit and a deer head mounted on your wall that sings "Sweet Home Alabama". None of the people in India get the need for such items. And just like me, I see no need for this show. It was put on Thursday with hits Community, 30 Rock and The Office. Even with those lead in's, there is no way this show makes a 2nd season. Mark my words! I watched the first episode and I had one laugh. The only recongizable name in the show is Diedrach Bader. You may not even recongize the name, but you will know the face from Drew Carey Show and the movie Office Space, among a handful of other places. It's the fish out of water story, but this time it's an American that's not in his usual spot. I am hoping the following shows after the pilot were funnier then the others.

Then we have Hawaii 5.0 on CBS. I had decent hopes for the show but after watching it, I have more then just high hopes for it. It is a good mix of action and comedy plus familar faces from both TV and movies. The action is intense and the first four episodes have all had guest stars that are recongizable. Alex O'Laughlin and Scott Caan are great together, bouncing off each other with the quick comebacks. They are believable together. Add Daniel Dae Kim (TV's Lost) and Grace Park (TV's Battlestar Galactica) to round out the cast. If you haven't had a chance to watch it, I do highly recommend it. It's a nice touch to use the original theme song from the old show as well. Atleast watch the pilot, directed by Len Wiseman of Underworld and Live Free or Die Hard fame.

New TV Season Edition

I know I refer to myself as the Entertainment Guru, but in actuality there are only a few tv shows I watch on a weekly basis. It starts on Sundays, of course with The Simpsons. Has the writting gone down over the years? Yes, unfortunately. But it still can be wildly entertaining from time to time. I don't care if it's on until 3000, I will watch. You know, if I am alive and all.

On Mondays, the one show I can't miss is How I Met Your Mother. Just like everyone I want to know who the mother is, but I don't. Because then the series will end. I also do enjoy Two and A Half Men. And Monday Night Raw

Tuesdays I am going to give Parenthood another shot. I heard it got better as the first season went on. I do find great humor that Parenthood goes up against The Good Wife. Why? Peter Krause is in Parenthood. Josh Charles is in "Good Wife" but to me they will always be Dan and Casey on Sports Night.

Wednesdays are my Ghost Hunters night. Not really listed in New TV Season. So moving on.

Thursdays are Community and 30 Rock plus Destination Truth.

Fridays are Smallville (which I used to be a huge fan of, but with it being the last season I owe it to myself to see how it ends) and Supernatural (Same as Smallville)

And now.... New shows that sound like they could be interesting. I'm marginally interested in The Event, though I hope its not a huge disappointment! I know TV is looking for the next big Lost... and this has that written all over it. I am also interested in Mike and Molly. For those of you who don't know, it's a romantic comedy sitcom about a couple who meets at Overeater's Anonymous. It's got a good pedigree as it comes from Chuck Lorree, who did Two and a Half Men and The Big Bang Theory. We also get an updated Hawaii 5-0, which looks decentThe Big Ratings Winner for Monday (Prediction) - House.

Looks like the big winner for new shows on Tuesday will be Fantastic Four:The TV Show. Better known as No Ordinary Family. To the point Michael Chiklis is in both. ABC also has a new cop show. Yay Cop Drama. LOL The Big Ratings Winner For Tuesday (Prediction) - Glee

If You like lawyers, then you will like Wednesdays. The Whole Truth and The Defenders premiere. We also get a new Law and Order. Add to that spies on Undercovers. The Big Ratings Winner for Wednesday (Prediction)- Modern Family

What does it say about our world when we have a movie based off Facebook (The Social Network) and a TV show based off Twitter (%#'! My Dad Says). The 3 new shows that might make an impact are My Generation on ABC, Outsourced on NBC and Nikita on CW. It's also the last season of the Office with Steve Carrell hence.... The Big Ratings Winner for Thursday - The Office

Fridays mean the return of two TV Vets. Tom Selleck and Jimmy Smits, one's a cop. One's A Lawyer. Hey that would be a great show too! But unfortunately they are on different shows. Different Networks. The Big Ratings Winner for Fridays - CSI:NY

There is NOTHING NEW on Saturday or Sundays. So yeah.... The Big Ratings Winner for Sunday: The Amazing Race!

Dancing With The "Stars" Edition

On Monday ABC announced the new line up for Season 11 of Dancing With The Stars. How can it be Season 11? The show hasn't been on since 1999? Oh. I am thinking again. And once again, the line between star and who actually qualifies as a star is so blurred once again. So I thought I would do my thoughts on the cast of "Stars". Let's start with the people that kind of sort of are stars.

And who better to start with then David Hasselhoff. He may be slightly washed up, but he does qualify as a star, hence no "". He has been a part of 2 major TV series, Knight Rider and Baywatch. He is famous for being a singer in Europe. He was a host for several seasons on "America's Got Talent" and recently was roasted on Comedy Central. He even had an awesome cameo in "Dodgeball. EGNaV Rating= Star!

Next up.... Jennifer Grey. Seriously... don't back her into a corner. Cuz no one puts Baby in a corner. Sorry, had to be done. Legitimate 80's movie star having appeared in "Ferris Beuller's Day Off" and "Dirty Dancing" amongst many other movies. Sure you won't recongize her since she got her nose job but EGNaV Rating= Star!

Kurt Warner is next on the list. For those that don't know who he is, he is a recently retired NFL Quarterback. He fits the requirement for athletes in the competition. A 2 time League MVP and possible Hall of Fame player. EGNaV = Star!

Michael Bolton..... will probably do many dance moves that we have seen before. What? Don't get the reference that all of his big songs were cover songs and when he tried to do original songs they were cheesy and lame like "Can I Touch You There?". He is more famous for the women he has dated then some of his songs.... Not to mention the punchline of Office Space. But, and it kills me to say it, EGNaV Rating = Star. (no exclamation Point for you)

Margaret Cho - I have never been a fan of her stand up comedy. She has starred in her own TV series. She has appeared in movies and other TV shows as well. She isn't exactly a well known name outside of the comedy circle. But comedy isn't easy. And to be a rare Korean Woman Stand up Comedian who has made name reconigion... EGNaV Rating = Star.

Here's The Story... of Florence Henderson.... Carol Brady on Dancing with the Stars? Starred in one of the biggest TV show's of all time? In fact has made a career basically out of the Carol Brady role. And appeared in a Weird Al video. EGNaV Rating = Star!

Rick Fox - 3x NBA Finals winner, of course mostly due to Kobe. Still he was a good player. He is also an actor having appeared in many different shows. he is most known for being married to Vanessa "Save The Best For Last" Williams. Name value isn't high unless you know him from basketball. He is boarderline star.

Kyle Massey - Unless you watch the Disney Channel, you probably have no idea who he is. I know I dont. He was on "That's So Raven" and "Cory In The House". EGNaV Rating = No Name Value... Sorry

Brandy Norwood - R & B singer turned Actress turned Reality show star with her brother and pervert Ray-J. Due to some of her hits and her Grammy, EGNaV Rating = Star!

Audriana Patridge - No, she wasn't part of the Partridge family and I did a typo. She was on MTV's "The Hills" the show that gave us SPIEDI..... Hiedi and Spencer. That right there disqualifies you as a star!

Bristol Palin - Having appeared on an episode of "Secret Life of An American Teenager" and sounding like you were reading off a cue card doesn't qualify you as a star. Being a single teenage Mom with your douchebag of an on again off again Man doesn't make you a star. Being the daughter of former Vice Presidential Candiate Sarah Palin doesn't make you a star. I can keep going? Naming your son after what most people do when they are drunk *Trip, anyone?* doesn't make you a star.... You get the point.

And now... my personal favorite... Mike Sorrentino. What? That name doesn't sound at all familar to you? Yet this person has been all over your TV for the last year. How is that possible? No really... how is someone with that little talent been on your TV for this long? Mikey here is known for 3 things.... drinking.... lots of sex..... and his abs. That's right... the Situation is on DWTS. In other words.... once again, Cue the Shark... DWTS is ready to jump over you!

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There is kind of an minor odd connection between two of the "Stars". See if you can figure it out... I will give you a hint... One is male one is female.... and they were both voted as stars by the Entertainment Guru News and Views (EGNaV).

Top Ten Characters

In Entertainment Weekly back in June they listed their top 100 characters of the last 20 years. It's an interesting article, though I don't exactly agree with everything in their list. So it gave me the idea to make my own list. I am sure there will be people who will disagree with my list as well, and I kind of expect that.

10. Ron Burgundy - Anchorman Yes, the character is a cheesy character. But deep down Ron was a caring man. He loved his dog Baxter. Who else would have PJ's for a dog? Throughout the course of the movie, Ron grew up and cared for Veronica as well. I think other then his character in Old School, this was Will Ferrell's best work.


9. Homer Simpson - Simpsons This was Entertainment Weekly's number one character in their list. He comes in at number 9 for me. Again, he pretends not to care about anything other then beer and pretzels. But deep down, Homer cares for his family. He has lived a crazy life, including his stint as a car salesman with his brother and also wound up in space with Barney.



8. Duncan MacLeod - Highlander People want to romanticize Edward Cullen in Twillight. But you know what, Duncan MacLeod was everything Cullen was before the books were written. He is immortal. He has lived for hundreds of years and reluctant to show his emotions or let anyone get close to him because he knew he would out live them. He always kept people at an arm's length, both as friends and more. But he let a few people in. I enjoy the movies as well, but I highly recommend the television show if you haven't seen it.



7. Chandler Bing - Friends I liked most of the Friends (Honestly, wasn't a huge Phoebe fan) but I am a huge fan of Chandler. Mostly due to the sarcasm that we both tend to use. He was loyal to all his Friends. He even loved his Chick and Duck!



6. Marty McFly - Back To The Future - By far Michael J. Fox's best movie character (Hard to argue McFly vs Alex P. Keaton, that's a debate for another time). There was just something about those movies. He just wanted to play his guitar and next thing you know his mother is in love with him. They just looked like fun movies to make.



5. Eric Cartman - South Park - Clearly not the smartest or nicest person on the list. But you know when Cartman is schemeing something funny is about to happen. He didnt care what people thought of him. He was a selfish character. He just was out for himself. But you can't argue he wasn't an original character. Though he would argue... he isn't fat. Just big boned.



4. Barney Stinson - How I Met Your Mother - No body is a bigger womanizer then Barney. But again. Just like most of my favorite characters he pretends not to care, but when push comes to shove if you need someone to help you... Barney would. He just wouldn't let you know that he was the one to help you. He is stylish and funny. And of course, Barney is awesome. Just ask him. He will tell you!



3. Randal Graves - Clerks Sarcastic. Check! Movie obsessed? Check! Kind of sounds familar. Doesnt it? Just like Cartman, he doesn't care what you think. He will tell you exactly what is on his mind. He doesn't hold back. Right or wrong, he will tell you exactly what is on his mind. If it offends you, that's your problem. Not his.



2. Dr. Percy Cox - Scrubs Are yoiu picking up a theme here? I am a huge fan of characters that speak their mind. Nobody rants quite like Dr. Cox can. I personally can connect with him as well. I see a little bit of him in me, especially at work. Part of me hopes that I am viewed the same way.



1. Ari Gold - Entourage. Another loud mouthed, foul mouth character. When he isn't in your face screaming at you, he wants to hug it out. He didn't even make it into EW's list, which really surprised me. But he tops my list of great characters!

There are some honorable mentions like Doc Brown and Biff Tannen from Back to The Future, Aldous Snow from Forgetting Sarah Marshall, William Miller from Almost Famous, Austin Powers, Stifler from American Pie and Kirk Lazarus from Tropic Thunder.

The Other Guys Review Edition

I just saw "The Other Guys" with Mark Wahlberg and Will Ferrell. It was pretty funny. There wasn't much that wasn't fun in the entire movie. Even with as many times as I saw the trailer to the movie, it was still painfully hysterical. It was good to see Wahlberg in a comedy role. Though he played the straight guy out of the comedy duo, he was still very funny. Michael Keaton co-starred as a Captain of the NYPD who has a weird obsession with the band TLC, though he claims not to know who they are. I highly recommend the movie. I give it four out of five stars. There was parts of the movie that just seemed to be added for the comedy, instead of making it part of the story. Duane Johnson and Samuel L. Jackson's extended cameos were just flat out the best part of the movie!

Recently Jennifer Aniston got in trouble for appearing on "Live With Regis and Kelly". Not for actually appearing on it, but in the process she dropped the R word. It was an off the cup comment and as usual people took it over the top. She didn't mean anything by it! People need to relax!

Coming soon is my list of top ten movie/TV characters in the last twenty years!

The *Bleeping* *Bleep* Jail House Edition

,Yes, I know it has been absolutely a long time since the last update, so here I am with the biggest stories out of Hollywood.

Where to start with? How about Mel Gibson? He is the Bleeping Bleep part of the title. He starred in so many great action movies but who would have thought his most lethal weapon was his mouth? I am not saying I am on his side or his ex-wife's side. I think they both have issues. This isn't the first celebrity she married after all. She was once tied to former 007 actor Timothy Dalton, who at the time was a big action star too. We should have known from his arrest on DUI and "The Passion Of the Christ" that something is terribly wrong with Mel Gibson. But I don't think anyone could have seen those leaked audio tapes coming. He makes Alec Baldwin look like father of the year. And let's face it, that's quite the task! Does anyone deserve to be talked to like that? No, of course not. But I really think she things on purpose just to push his buttons. Cuz I know that I record EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY CONVERSATIONS. How come that hasn't really been asked?

Switching gears, several editions ago I mentioned that Robert Downey Jr could do no wrong. If you doubt that, check out the trailer for his new movie with Zach Galifininakas called "Due Date".
http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi1921254937/

Did you see President Obama on the view? He had no idea who Snookie is. I wonder what the Situation thinks of that? I think it would be a hysterical image to watch the Obamas sitting at home watching Jersey Shore. That should be a weekly TV show. And for the record, how could it be called Jersey Shore if they are in Miami?

Former American Idol winner Carrie Underwood got married recently. Congratulations to her. She married hockey player Mike Fisher.... uh huh. That's right the force is with her now. Because she is now Carrie Fisher! Speaking of American Idol, it was announced that after just one season Ellen Degeneres will be leaving the show. No word on her replacement. There is a rumor that by Monday we will know who is replacing Simon Cowell.

Does anyone really care that Lindsay Lohan is in prison? Cause quite honestly I don't. Her career has stalled. She is more known for her lesbian relationship with Samantha Ronson and being a party girl then she is for any role in a movie recently. What was her last hit? Mean Girls. In 2004! Here it is 2010. She does appear in the new movie Machete which has a huge cast including Michelle Rodriquez, Don Johnson, Steven Seagal and Robert Deniro. I'm not sure which is odder. Steven Seagal and Robert Deniro in the same movie. Or Deniro and Lohan in the same flick. Or Lohan and Seagal. I am so confused.

30 Rock is rumored to do a live edition of their show. Ask "Drew Carey show" how gimmick shows draw ratings.

The Sequel Edition

I just read today that there is talk of doing a new Indiana Jones movie, this time dealing with the Bermuda Triangle. I am not sure how that is even possible, but as long as they don't completely kill Indiana Jones, then I guess I can support it. Harrison Ford would consider coming back according to the reports I read as would the man with a 1,000 franchies.... Shia! (Let's face it, he doesn't need a last name)

But that's not the only sequel being talking about. Avatar 2! I'm sorry, the official title is "Avatar 2: We haven't taken all of your money yet". Rick Baker has signed on to create creatures for Men In Black 3. I am hoping this time they wind up in space, since they have saved the earth from the ground 2x all ready. Change it up, guys!

There is also Final Destination 5. I thought they said Final Destination 4 was the last? Seriously.....

There was a rumor that Jennifer Aniston would follow in the footsteps of Drew Barrymore, Jada Pinkett Smith and Jenny McCarthy and be the first to be killed in Scream 4. She has since denied it. But it can't hurt her career any more then then the last 4 movies she starred in.

Do you want to know why I love talk shows? Because they are so utterly random. Last night on one show I saw Chris Rock (love him!), Sting (Love him!!) (The singer, not the wrestler) and Snookie (Um........) all on the Tonight Show without Conan O'Brien... I mean, with Jay Leno. No place ever will those 3 ever be seen together. Two of them are rare, but the trifecta? That's just Unique!

This summer hasn't exactly been a blockbuster of a summer. Yes, Iron Man 2 did good Box Office. Shrek 4 is killing too. But that's been about it.

In other sad news, I have gained a little bit of respect for Tom Cruise after seeing him at the *Bleeping* MTV movie Awards. I bleeped it twice. Once, because of all the swearing that happened at the awards. And two, I hate Twilight. If you missed it, Tom Cruise got back in his Tropic Thunder character and appeared twice, including a dance off to Ludacris with Jennifer Lopez. I'm not making that up.

And in real sad news, the Entertainment Guru mourns the death of Rue McLanahan. Another person from my childhood gone. It's rather depressing

The Lose Of Two Legends Edition

The word legend gets through around a lot, especially lately. But this past week, we lost two people who will live on in the world of Pop Culture.

Gary Coleman died just a few days ago. For some people, he became a punchline when he was working as a secruity guard and got beat up. But for people of my generation, he will always be Arnold "Whatcha you talking, Willis" Drummond on Different Strokes. He died of a brain hemorrage after a fall in his home in Utah. That shows how serious of a condition Bret Michaels condition could have been. The good news is he made a great recovery, enough to win Celebrity Apprentice and also appear on the finale of American Idol as well.

We also lost Academy Award Nominee Dennis Hopper. He was one of the few actors the could pull off crazy and you weren't entirely sure if he was acting or if he was actually being Dennis Hopper. He was in Easy Riders with Jack Nicholson. He has appeared in several movies and TV shows, even doing a stint for a couple of years in TV commercials. He had fallen on hard times recently too. It was unfortunate as many saw that his best days were behind him and his health failing.

Last year we lost a lot of celebrities, and I have a bad feeling that this year we could be heading for an equally bad year.

Let us have a moment of silence for the passing of Gary Coleman and Dennis Hopper

The Iron Man 2 Review and Transformers news.

So I finally saw Iron Man 2. Just two weeks after it's debut. I was a huge fan of the first movie so I can became giddy like a school girl when I heard about the sequel. It was definitely louder then the first movie, which isn't really a bad thing. I have a few complaints about it as well as a few happy thoughts. First, the complaints. We all knew when Disney bought the rights to Marvel characters there would be some cross over potential. But I didn't know that Tony Stark's dad, Howard was actually Walt Disney in disguise. I'm pretty sure I saw World Showcase in this plans of the original Stark Expo. Atleast Mickey Mouse didn't wind up in the War Machine suit. I expect that in Iron Man 3. Mickey Rourke's character was decent despite the fact he barely was Whiplash (other then the Monaco Race scene). But the thing to remember is he was a mix of two Iron Man villians so that explains it. It was a little long and there was some scenes that just went a little far. Drunk Iron Man and a DJ was excessive as was him sitting in a doughnut.

I liked Terrance Howard in the first one. I got excited for Don Cheadle in the role for this one, but he really didn't have a whole lot to do in this movie until half way through the movie so that was disappointing. Gwentyhe Paltrow is barely in this movie as well, which was another disappointment.

I have always been a fan of Sam Rockwell. He is one of those actors that most people wouldn't reconigize but everyone has seen him in a few movies. He makes smarmy look awesome. He is a douche in this movie, and I like it.

Robert Downey Jr is excellent once again. I could watch him read the phone book and I think I'd be on the edge of my seat. He has a comedy coming out that I am looking forward to.

Scarlett Johansen kicks major butt in this movie! She is bad Ass.

Overall, it was a good action movie. I give it a 7 out of 10.
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Megan Fox apparently is out of Transformers 3. Both her and Bruckheimer are saying it was their choice to cut her. I admit that I didn't see the 2nd one. She has kind of faded after back to back diasters at the box office (Transformers 2 and Jennifer's Body) so I can't say I blame Jerry Bruckheimer.

The South Park 200-201 Follow-Up Rant Edition

I know that I have recently commented about the issues with the 200 and 201st episodes of South Park, but last week I read an article in the USA Today about it and it has gotten me thinking even more.

In case you are not aware of the issue with the episodes, Comedy Central pulled them from rotation, airing them only once and Episode 201 was aired in a Bleeped out fashion, totally missing the point of the episode. The storylines revolved around the Muslim Prophet Muhammad appearing in a bear suit (or perhaps the issue was him appearing at all). A Twitter account owned by someone named Abu Talhah Al-Amrikee threatened to kill Matt Stone and Trey Parker for this. Perhaps it wasn't a direct threat, but they mentioned Theo Van Gough, a film director that made about movie about Muhhamad that was killed by a Muslim for it. That is pretty clearly a threat to me. What's even funnier to me is Al-Amrikee is stating he is allowed to say what he wants due to free speech because he is an American Citizen. Isn't Stone-Parker American citizens too?

Last season South Park lampooned two of my favorite things. One is professional wrestling (Episode 191). The other is a show called Ghost Hunters (Episode 189). Did I threaten them? No. You know what I did. I didn't watch the episodes. It really is that easy. If something offends you, don't watch it.

It seriously bothers me to have someone in the USA, let alone New York City, freak out about this and then claim Freedom of Expression. It works both ways. It kind of reminds me of the quote from A Few Good Men when Jack Nicholson's character talks about "the blanket of freedom we all rise and sleep under and then questions it when it's appropriate". Ok, I am paraphrasing it, but you get the point.

And yet nothing has been done to the man for threatening to kill Matt Stone and Trey Parker. Can anyone explain that to me? When even recently a man was arrested for threatening to blow up the WWE Offices and visit the building with a machete and a machine gun. Zavr Peygumbari was charged with one count of second-degree harassment, two counts of second-degree threatening and four counts of fourth-degree threatening. He made 20 calls to WWE Headquarters which such threats. And you may be asking yourself, why would he be this upset at professional wrestling? His favorite Diva, Mickie James had been recently released from the company.

The Short But Sweet Edition

A recent article in Entertainment Weekly referred to Jesse James as "the Most Hated Man in America". While Sanda Bullock has been referred to as "America's Sweetheart", I think it's pushing it a little much to say he is the most hated man. He cheated. But he isn't the only one. Look at Tiger Woods? In all the backlash against Woods, he was never called any thing that harsh. And Tiger cheated too. ALOT!

Here's hoping for a speedy recovery with Bret Michaels. Last week he complained of severe headaches so he went to the hospital. He had a brain hemmorage. He isn't in the clear yet either. According to doctors he has been in the Intensive Care Unit in critical condition. So like I said, hopefully he recovers.

The Censored Edition

Matt Stone and Trey Parker, co-creators of South Park, have found themselves in trouble once again. The last two episodes (episodes 200-201) deal with celebrities suing the town unless they can get Mohammed's special power (long story). They dress the prophet Mohammed in a bear suit, which of course offended Muslims, naturally. Because if we know anything, Muslims have no sense of humor. Comedy Central had to censor episode 201 and seems to have also pulled episode 200 as well. Stone and Parker both received death threats from a Muslim Group located... in New York City. Oh the irony there.

There is quite the sordid Soap Opera happening in Larry King's life these days. Looks like Larry might be getting divorced for the 7th time (once again I have to point out that it should be celebrity marriage getting banned, not gay marriage. But that's just me) because he is in love with his wife's sister. While his wife is having an affair with their sons baseball coach. You wonder if all 4 of them just deceided to have one big... sleep over? It might just make it easier for everyone involved.

It's been a while since I randomly mentioned it, so Avatar! Oh yeah, and it's on DVD right now.

Further proof that we have run out of original ideas... There is talk of remaking the Dudley Moore movie Arthur. Apparently the role will be played by Russell Brand. I can understand that. It all ready sounds like he is drunk everytime he opens his mouth. And I say this admittingly cause I am a fan of Russell Brand. Playing opposite him will be Dame Judi Dench. Talk about polar opposites!

And finally.... Lets have a moment of silence. Kate Gosselin, the first non-celebrity ever to appear on Dancing With The Stars, has been eliminated. That atleast gives her a chance to go prepare for the 19,000 other shows she will appear on in the very near future. Twist of Kate? Really? A & E? Really???

The 20th Edition.... Edition.

When Conan O'Brien was forced out of the Tonight Show, it seemed almost certain he would wind up doing a show on Fox. After all, he started there as a writer on The Simpsons. But then TBS stepped in. So coming to a TBS near you in November will be an unnamed Talk show starring Coco, Conan O'Brien. This week it was also announced that Kevin Eubanks will be stepping down as Jay Leno's bandleader. I'd call this the worst week in Leno's career. And the best in all of ours! :)

A recently published book stated that John Tesh used to date Oprah Winfrey. Tesh has stepped forward to admit that rumor is true. However before you get all excited and start thinking of a name for the power couple, it was before they were famous. It is still an interesting idea if you think about it.

Normally I think the 2nd worse idea on TV is reality TV. The only thing worse then that in my opinion is Washed up Celeb Reality TV. But like a train wreck, somehow I can't resist watching Celebrity Apprentice. Where else will former Wrestler Bill Goldberg face off against Cyndi Lauper? Bret Michaels vs Holly Robinson Peete.

I finally saw the Trailer for the A-Team. Quite honestly, I am not impressed. I will file this under the same category as the last GI Joe Movie. It was a good action movie but nothing like what I remember as a child.

The Celebrity Feud Edition

On Showbiz Tonight on HLN this week, it was announced that Kim Kardiashian and Demi Moore were in a twitter fight. Could that be the most boring feud ever? Kim posted a picture of her and some friends with the word Pimpin'!. And Demi thought we should ban that word cause it basically means slavery and women should never use that word. Wow. They should make a movie about this feud. Thats just riveting! And by riveting, I mean what has Demi Moore done since Charlie's Angels 2? And Kim Kardashian is famous for being famous. The word Celebrity doesn't have the same meaning it once had.

That's not the only celebrity feud Showbiz Tonight talked about. And the other feud also doesn't neccesarily involve celebrities. Sharon Osbourne vs Former Governor Rod Boganovich, or whatever his name is. This feud started on Celebrity Apprentice. Which.... I actually started to watch but couldn't lower my esteem enough to finish it. In the commercial Sinbad referred to himself as one of the most successful comedians of all time. Um. Ego stroke anyone?

Also on Twitter, Ricky Martin last night announced he is a proud homosexual. A) That's not news to most people. Sorry, Ricky. B) If you were proud of your sexuality, why did you wait until after you aren't as famous as you once were to officially come out of the closet.

I think this has been confirmed. Beyonce is pregnant. So Beyonce is the mother, Jay-Z is the father. And the kid.... LUCKIEST KID EVER!

Number one movie of the week is "How To Train Your Dragon". It's quite the month for Jay Baruschel. He is the voice of the main character in it. Plus She is Out Of My League is still in the top 10 as well.

She Is Out Of My League - Movie Review Edition

We have all seen movies where it looks like an absolutely hysterical movie because the trailer is hysterical and yet when you pay your money, the only funny parts you see... well you all ready saw because of the trailer. Sure there might be one or two other funny lines, but all in all it probably wasn't worth the 9 dollars (or more!) you paid to see it.

I feared "She Is Out Of My League" would be one of those movies. And trust me when Isay... IT'S NOT. It was truly hysterical and I recommend the movie to anyone with a good sense of humor. Sure, there wasn't a lot of character development but let's face it. You don't go to comedies for character development. You go for the comedy. Truly the lead female has no reason to fall for this guy other then he makes her laugh. We really don't know much about him.

It was a great movie with some very funny lines. I did however find a weird fault in the movie. Don't worry, there is no spoiler... he finds her phone working at the airport. Says she will be back tomorrow and then invites him to the party she is working the next day. If she flew out of the airport, wouldn't she fly back into the same airport? She could have just picked up the phone then. Like I said, kind of a weird fault and thats how my brain works.

Maybe you are like me and you remember when trailers before movies were similar to the movie you are about to see. This is a run down of trailers I saw before "She is out of my league"

Iron Man 2- Let's face it... this trailer can be seen before anymore movie and it makes sense.

Nightmare on Elm Street - Really? Before a comedy?

Grown Ups - Makes perfect sense. Another comedy

The Sorcerer's Apprerentice - Um, Jay Baruschel is in both... only common sense link.

Get him to The Greek - Again, a comedy. Makes sense.

The Milkaholic Edition

2009 was definitely the year of "Lost Celebrities". We are less then 90 days into 2010 and we have had 3 celebrities die all ready. Corey Haim was an actor from the 80's that lived life a little too fast. He was into drugs and drinking and should be the poster boy from Child Actors in Danger. Everytime he seemed to correct his life, he got into trouble again. You might remember him from The Lost Boys or Licensed to Drive. He was also in Lucas, which was a highly underrated movie with Charlie Sheen. We also lost Merlin Olsen this week. He was an NFL Hall of Famer who also turned to acting after his playing days was over. He did appear in such TV shows such as "Little House on The Praire".

It has been announced that Lindsay Lohan is suing E-Trade for one of their Super Bowl commercials. In the commercial in question the E-Trade baby is web chatting with what can only be referred to as his girlfriend. He makes an excuse why he didnt call her the night before and the girl says "As long as that milkaholic Lindsay wasn't there". He starts to make an excuse when Baby Lindsay pops up and says "Milk-a-what?" Lindsay Lohan is claiming that the Milkaholic baby is based on her because her name is Lindsay. She claims that she deserves one name credit. Like any time you hear the name Madonna, you think of Madonna. Or when you hear Cher, you think of Cher. But does Lindsay Lohan have that kind of name recongition? Ask your self that. And then... scream HELL NO GET OVER YOURSELF. Ok. I am done.

I was pretty good with my Oscar predictions. Only missing Best Director and Best Actress. I think I got everything else. Not bad for the Entertainment Guru.

I finally saw the full trailer for Iron Man II. HOLY CRAP. It does look like it can be even better then the first one.

No big surprise. Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland, while for the most part trashed by the critics, topped this weekends box office. New out this week to compete will be what only looks like the next installment of the Bourne Series "Green Zone" and "She's Out Of My League", which I will see today so expect the first Entertainment Guru Movie Review coming soon. Will either top Alice? I will say no.

The Oscars Edition

And welcome to the first Oscars Prediction Blog here at the Oscars Edition. For the first time in recent history there are ten nominees for best picture. So let's start at the top. Your nominees for Best Picture are...Avatar, The Blind Side, District 9, Up, Up In The Air, The Hurt Locker, A Serious Man, Precious, An Education and Inglorious Basterds.

Honestly? Even though there is 10 nominees, I can really see only 4 films with a serious chance. Nothing against films like An Education or District 9. The two best chances to win are Avatar but I am honestly hoping for The Hurt Locker. So my pick.... The Hurt Locker. Why? First off, war films in the last 9 years haven't been exactly box office gold. It was a risky choice to make. Add almost all unknown actors to a movie about war directed by a female? That just screams RISKY!

Best Director Your nominees are James Cameron-Avatar, Kathyrn Bigalow - The Hurt Locker, Jason Reitman- Up In The Air, Lee Daniels - Precious and Quentin Tarantino - Inglorious Basterds. YOur winner... James Cameron for Avatar.

Best Actor Jeff Bridges - Crazy Heart. George Clooney - Up In The Air. Jeremy Renner - The Hurt Locker. Morgan Freeman - Invictus. Colin Firth - A Serious Man. Your Winner- Jeff Bridges for Crazy Heart. Finally.

Best ActressMeryl Streep - Julie and Julia. Sandra Bullock - The Blind Side. Carey Mulligan - An Education. Helen Mirren - The Last Station. Gabourey Sidibe - Precious. I think this might be the closest race. It's hard to pick against Meryl Streep. But I will. It comes down to Sandra Bullock or Gabourey Sidibe. In an upset, I pick Gabourey Sidibe.

Best Supporting Actor Matt Damon - InVictus. Christopher Waltz - Inglorious Basterds. Woody Harrelson - Zombieland... oh... sorry... wrong movie - The Messenger. Christopher Plummer - The Last Station. Stanly Tucci - The Lovely Bones. Your winner. Christopher Waltz - Inglorious Basterds.

Best Supporting Actress Mo'Nique - Precious. Anna Kendrick - Up In The Air. Vera Farminga - Up In The Air. Maggie Gyllenhall - Crazy Heart. Penelope Cruz - Nine. The winner. Mo'Nique - Precious.

For any technical awards, (sound, editing, etc) just pick Avatar.

Best Animated: Up
Best Original Screenplay: The Hurt Locker
Best Adapated Screenplay: Precious
Original Song : Crazy Heart

Let's see how good I am at this. Check back next week for my Post Oscar Edition!

Moment Of Silence...

It’s a sad day here at the news desk of the Entertainment Guru. As soon as the news of his disappearance was released, I think most of us knew how this would end. It was announced today that Andrew Koenig was found dead in a park in Vancouver. For those of that know who Koenig was, he was a supporting actor on the 80’s sitcom Growing Pains. He played Kirk Cameron’s best friend on the show. He had one of the most original characters name ever. He was Sylvester Stabbone. Because as his character said “My father really liked Rocky”. But his character was not known as Sylvester, he was known simply…. As Boner. He was one of the stereotype characters that you have seen a 1000 times. The simple minded best friend but in the end, he was a close confident to the main character. Koenig wasn’t known for anything other then playing Boner and his father being Chekov from the original Star Trek series. It’s a sad day when anyone takes their own life. Andrew Koenig wasn’t famous. Do people know who he was? Of course they do. But just like millions of people he suffered from depression. He thought no one loved him. I watched the press conference (or as Nancy Grace referred to it as a “Presser”) with his parents. It’s never easy to watch a parent dealing with the death of a child, especially when they took their own life. So all I can do is say a moment of silence for everyone who knows someone who has fought depression.

http://www.popeater.com/2010/02/25/andrew-koenig-dead/

The Boycott Edition

I am starting a boycott that I want everyone to help me with. This is a very serious issue to me. Everyone needs to boycott the fast food restaurant “Taco Bell”. I am boycotting the restaurant and ask you to do it too. This boycott will continue until they stop airing the rapping Charles Barkley commercials. Cause those commercials certainly don’t rock.

Someone needs to tell Liam Neeson that it is no longer the 1980’s. Not only does he appear in the remake of the A-Team, but also in the remake of “Clash Of The Titans”. I am going to refer to this summer as the Summer of the Return of 1980’s. In addition to those, we also get retelling of both The Karate Kid and Nightmare On Elm Street. Oh wait that’s right we also get the Sequel to Wall Street. Cause after all “Money Never Sleeps”.

I recently had my back turned on the TV and heard a commercial that started “Join John Cusack in the biggest movie of all time” and I turned around to see a commercial for “2012”. Admittedly I was disappointed cause I thought it was a commercial for his next movie “Hot Tub Time Machine”. When I heard there was a movie called “Hot Tub Time Machine” I was disappointed at first cause I said to myself “I want to watch that but I am not going to wait till 3 a.m. to turn on Skin-a-max!” Only to find out it was a legit movie. Phew!

Movie Cast of the Week: This probably won’t be a weekly feature but I thought I would call extra attention to the cast of the movie “Takers”. This is a who’s who of film making. And by film making I mean…. Matt “I can only do Heist Movies now” Dillion, Hayden “Whiney Nooooooooooo!” Christensen and Chris Brown. I am pretty sure I saw Robin Givens in the trailer too. Now doesn’t that sound like a quality cast to you? Me Neither!

This week’s number one movie is “Shelter Island”. I read something that said Martin Scorese’s next movie will be based off of Facebook. I have no comments other then this. Entertainment Guru’s current status… will not be seeing this movie.

Join me next week when I make my Oscar Predictions here on the Entertainment Guru page

The "Not too fat to Fly" edition

I finally got a chance to listen to new version of "We are the World" for Haiti and I have to say... not impressed. I admit, I am not the hippest person in the world so I think I was able to pick out like five voices and accuratetly said who it was. But really? Adding a rap modernizes it? If thats the case, give me some good old Huey Lewis and the News and Hall with Oates! I know their hearts are in the right places, but couldn't we have just written a new song to use instead of touching a classic? Do you know why very few karaoke bars have "Thriller" available for karaoke? They don't want to see it killed. Sadly... I have seen it done at karaoke... and after I post this, I will have my moment of silence....

According to a major airline, film director Kevin Smith is "too fat to fly". I work in a very tourist-y place and I see people that are clearly too fat to even walk from attraction to attraction. So how did they get there? By car? Clearly not. So they had to fly. And Kevin Smith might be large, but I see atleast ten people a day that are much larger and more morbidly obese then him. And the airline is the one looking bad in all this.

I dont know if you have noticed, but Avatar isn't the number one box office movie anymore. In fact, for two weeks in a row it hasn't been. And I am here to gloat? No. I am not. First, Dear John beat it. Then last week it was Valentine's Day, the movie. I haven't seen either, or Avatar for that matter. I do find it shocking though. First off, War movies since 9/11 have been smashed here in the US. Not one movie featuring a war has been good, even with big names attached to it. So the fact Dear John beat Avatar is pretty amazing. Great piece of trivia.... what movie beat Titanic to reclaim number one at the box office? Ironically it was during my 21st birthday week... so your welcome. :)

I find it weird that Channing Tatum didn't almost do the glorious movie "GI Joe" cause he didn't want to do a war movie... then turned around... and did a movie about a soldier going off to... war.... irony?

And the answer is..... LOST IN SPACE!

The Sports and Political Edition

The world can breath easily. MTV recently announced that the Blockbuster TV show "Jersey Shore" has been renewed. Cause there is nothing cooler then people giving themselves nicknames. Does that mean I am the "Anti-Situation"?

I have figured out how the USA can get out of the debt that we have been in for a while. There is talk of doing a sequel to a little independent film that came out recently. It's called "Avatar". Ever hear of it? Well, my idea to save the USA is to have our govermnent co-produce Avatar 2. All money goes to fixing our national debt. It is bound to work!

Today is the start of the Winter Olympics. What am I looking forward to the most? The end of the Winter Olympics!

There is a commercial airing on ESPN talking about the rookie in Nascar that is so anticiapated despite the fact she has never ran a lap. It's Danica Patrick. Here's my issue with her hype.... she won one race in Formula One. In Japan. When no one of the big people were racing that event. So what? She is a woman racing. I think she is ALL HYPE. Sorry.... she is more famous for her Go Daddy.com commercials then anything else.

Congratulations to the Super Bowl Champions, the New Orleans Saints. I called it, for the record. I kinda almost got the score right too. I will take credit for that too.

The "We will not mention Avatar by name once" edition

My last words weeks ago was Conan Got Screwed. It got me thinking. Remember back in the 90's the last time there was a fight for the Tonight Show between Leno and David Letterman. Letterman got painted as the bad guy. It looks like all along it was Leno. I know for a fact I will not be watching his show anymore. I used to support him but the Entertainment Guru is on Team Coco now!

Someone needs to tell people at Entertainment Tonight that Sarah Palin (politics) and Levi Johnston (Unwed Baby Daddy) are not entertainment figures. I can atleast see Tiger Woods and all the talk of his scandal appearing on both Legit News programs and making the rounds of the Entertainment news too. But nothing Palin or Playgirl Levi has ever done has screamed entertainment to me. Atleast putting Kevin Federline on made some sense. He was once an entertainer. Albeit a back up dancer, but atleast that was good enough to get Britney's attention back in the day.

Did anyone think watching the Screen Actors Guild Awards and the Golden Globes like they were watching the same show? It was like a carbon copy of the shows. And with the Academy Awards coming up soon, I am sure we will see a surprise here and there, but for the most part I predict the same. I will be back in time for the Oscars to do my full predictions by the way.

And speaking of predictions, tomorrow is the Super Bowl so it is only fair that the Entertainment Guru predicts..... Brett Favre retires! Again! For the 4th time. But on a serious note... Saints 34. Colts 31.

The Golden Globes Edition!

I know it seems like it has been forever since an update. In fact, it has been forever. It was a whole other year. No. I take that back. It was a different decade! That's a damn long time. This past sunday was the first awards show of the season, the Golden Globes. Unlike last year's ceremony No one movie dominated like Slumdog Millionaire which actually won for things it wasn't even nominated for last year. It was kinda weird.

Avatar won 2 awards and is the big winner of the night. James Cameron, Uber-Director, was the big loser of the night for announcing that he had to pee something fierce. All in favor that was a little TMI say Aye!. That's what I thought. And talk about awkward. When James Cameron won for best director, he beat his ex wife Kathryn Bigelow director of The Hurt Locker.

The best speech of the night had to be Robert Downey Jr. for his "I am not thanking anyone, including the following people" speech. The man can do no wrong these days. Well except for the movie "The Soloist". We will forgive him for that. The best moment of the night? Ricky Gervais's comment... "I like beer as much as the next guy. Unless the next guy is Mel Gibson. Here's Mel Gibson to present!" I was waiting for Mel to call him sugar tits.

Is it bad that I have no plans to see Avatar? It looks impressive, sure.... but to me it looks like "Hey, this is what computers can do these days and the story is... eh". First off the movie is too long. I have ADHD sometimes so sitting still for 5 hours to watch a glorified cartoon just isn't going to happen. And two, I dont go to my movies to be preached to which is what I heard this movie is. I heard a rumor it was produced by Al Gore.

I am going to go on record and face the backlash now, I am not a fan of James Cameron. In fact, in all the movies and TV shows I own on DVD.... the only thing I have of James Cameron..... He appeared in several episodes of Entourage as himself. I never even watched Titanic, and I plan to keep it that way.

This just in... in the time you were reading this.... Avatar just made another gazillion dollars. It's a good thing Cameron only makes a movie every ten years.... so in 2019 we get Avatar 2! Just imagine what he can do with those graphics and special effects!

In other news, I thought I would weight in on the whole Leno-Conan. I could sum it all in 3 words... CONAN GOT SCREWED!.

And I make a solemn vow to update more then just once a decade! Coming soon!