Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Dancing With The "Stars" Edition

On Monday ABC announced the new line up for Season 11 of Dancing With The Stars. How can it be Season 11? The show hasn't been on since 1999? Oh. I am thinking again. And once again, the line between star and who actually qualifies as a star is so blurred once again. So I thought I would do my thoughts on the cast of "Stars". Let's start with the people that kind of sort of are stars.

And who better to start with then David Hasselhoff. He may be slightly washed up, but he does qualify as a star, hence no "". He has been a part of 2 major TV series, Knight Rider and Baywatch. He is famous for being a singer in Europe. He was a host for several seasons on "America's Got Talent" and recently was roasted on Comedy Central. He even had an awesome cameo in "Dodgeball. EGNaV Rating= Star!

Next up.... Jennifer Grey. Seriously... don't back her into a corner. Cuz no one puts Baby in a corner. Sorry, had to be done. Legitimate 80's movie star having appeared in "Ferris Beuller's Day Off" and "Dirty Dancing" amongst many other movies. Sure you won't recongize her since she got her nose job but EGNaV Rating= Star!

Kurt Warner is next on the list. For those that don't know who he is, he is a recently retired NFL Quarterback. He fits the requirement for athletes in the competition. A 2 time League MVP and possible Hall of Fame player. EGNaV = Star!

Michael Bolton..... will probably do many dance moves that we have seen before. What? Don't get the reference that all of his big songs were cover songs and when he tried to do original songs they were cheesy and lame like "Can I Touch You There?". He is more famous for the women he has dated then some of his songs.... Not to mention the punchline of Office Space. But, and it kills me to say it, EGNaV Rating = Star. (no exclamation Point for you)

Margaret Cho - I have never been a fan of her stand up comedy. She has starred in her own TV series. She has appeared in movies and other TV shows as well. She isn't exactly a well known name outside of the comedy circle. But comedy isn't easy. And to be a rare Korean Woman Stand up Comedian who has made name reconigion... EGNaV Rating = Star.

Here's The Story... of Florence Henderson.... Carol Brady on Dancing with the Stars? Starred in one of the biggest TV show's of all time? In fact has made a career basically out of the Carol Brady role. And appeared in a Weird Al video. EGNaV Rating = Star!

Rick Fox - 3x NBA Finals winner, of course mostly due to Kobe. Still he was a good player. He is also an actor having appeared in many different shows. he is most known for being married to Vanessa "Save The Best For Last" Williams. Name value isn't high unless you know him from basketball. He is boarderline star.

Kyle Massey - Unless you watch the Disney Channel, you probably have no idea who he is. I know I dont. He was on "That's So Raven" and "Cory In The House". EGNaV Rating = No Name Value... Sorry

Brandy Norwood - R & B singer turned Actress turned Reality show star with her brother and pervert Ray-J. Due to some of her hits and her Grammy, EGNaV Rating = Star!

Audriana Patridge - No, she wasn't part of the Partridge family and I did a typo. She was on MTV's "The Hills" the show that gave us SPIEDI..... Hiedi and Spencer. That right there disqualifies you as a star!

Bristol Palin - Having appeared on an episode of "Secret Life of An American Teenager" and sounding like you were reading off a cue card doesn't qualify you as a star. Being a single teenage Mom with your douchebag of an on again off again Man doesn't make you a star. Being the daughter of former Vice Presidential Candiate Sarah Palin doesn't make you a star. I can keep going? Naming your son after what most people do when they are drunk *Trip, anyone?* doesn't make you a star.... You get the point.

And now... my personal favorite... Mike Sorrentino. What? That name doesn't sound at all familar to you? Yet this person has been all over your TV for the last year. How is that possible? No really... how is someone with that little talent been on your TV for this long? Mikey here is known for 3 things.... drinking.... lots of sex..... and his abs. That's right... the Situation is on DWTS. In other words.... once again, Cue the Shark... DWTS is ready to jump over you!


There is kind of an minor odd connection between two of the "Stars". See if you can figure it out... I will give you a hint... One is male one is female.... and they were both voted as stars by the Entertainment Guru News and Views (EGNaV).

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