Welcome back to the Dancing With The Pseudo-Stars Edition of The Entertainment Guru News and Views. This week we will take a look at 12 new contestants and my chances they have at winning. Though I was way off with last year's predictions. This year is even more of a crap shoot, with more crap passing as Stars. Ok... so here we go.
Welcome to the Dance Floor Elisabetta Canalis. Claim To Fame George Clooney's ex girlfriend. Chances of winning? I have no idea because I barely know who you are!
Rob Kardiashian Claim To Fame A Member of the ever expanding Kardishaian clan. Chances of Winning? Not likely. There is a reason why he is the least known member of the family. Because from what I know him, he is more drunk then he is sober.
Ron Artest Claim to Fame Basketball Player. Chances Of Winning Athletes do well in these contests, but He is much larger then guys like Hines Ward. Wide Receivers are much more graceful in their motions then Power Forwards. So I give you no chance either!
J.R. Martinez Claim To Fame All My Children Soap Actor Chances of Winning I really don't know anything about him, but he apparently was in the Iraqi war so He does have stamina. Plus if you can compete against Susan Lucci on AMC, you have a certain quality most don't have. I give you a 30 % chance, and will also be the most anonymous star to win if he does so.
Kristin Cavallari Claim To Fame Appeared on The Hills. Chances of Winning Reality stars don't tend to do well in these competitons. Just ask Speidi on "I Am a Celebrity, get me out of here". So I say 10 %
Ricki Lake Claim To Fame Talk Show Hostess and actress Chances of Winning I know she has lost alot of weight. I think she can be the Kirstie Alley in this years show, going much further then most people expect her to go. But I still don't see her as the champion
David Arquette Claim To Fame Actor/Courtney Cox's ex-Husband/Former World Championship Wrestling Champion. Chances of Winning He did escape the Ghost Face Killah atleast 3 times (I didn't see Scream 4 so I don't know if Dewey is still alive). He is a funny silly man. Does that translate well to the dance floor? Nope. 0 %
Chynna Phillips Claim To Fame Singer. Chances of Winning Thanks to the Bridesmaid Cameo, a member of Wilson Phillips is trying to get to the dance floor. Does she have a chance? I think so. Is it a high one? 15% is pretty good if you ask me!
Nancy Grace Claim To Fame Lawyer/TV talking news head Chances of Winning? 100% chance! Of being the first one eliminated.
Carson Kressley Claim To Fame Queer Eye for the Straight Guy/How To Look Good Naked host Chance of Winning Not to be stereotypical, but gay men do know how to dance. So I give him a 15% to walk out winning the Mirror Ball. Now how would it color coordinate with his home decor?
Chaz Bono Claim To Fame Cher's/Sonny Bono's daughter. Chances of Winning I hope that we can get past the fact that Chaz was born a woman but is now transgendered. I give ABC and DWTS a world of props to allow him to compete. With that said, I have no idea how far he will go. I have never seen him move. But I think regardless, he will make it through atleast half through the contest due to a big GLT following.
Hope Solo Claim To Fame Soccer Player/No Relations to Han Chances of Winning I think she has the best chance of winning. Did the USA Women win the World Cup? No. But they made it much further then most people expected them to. And it was thanks to her. She is athletic and fit. I think she can win it all quite easly.
Next weeks edition will be thoughts on new season of TV coming soon. I hope you enjoyed this edition!