The 2013 VMA Train Wreck Edition

This past Sunday in Brooklyn, New York we witnessed the Video Music Awards presented by MTV. To me it's very ironic that MTV still has VMAs since they really don't show music videos anymore. I just checked. In the next twenty four hours, they are showing six hours of music videos. I suppose that wouldn't be bad, unless you consider the fact that the videos will only play from 3:00 A.M. to 9:00 A.M. During the same 24 hours the network will show five hours of shows like "16 & Pregnant" and "Teen Mom," but that's another story for another blog.

For this blog I am going to focus on a few things that show the ridiculousness of this awards show. The VMAs first aired in 1984. There was pop royalty like Michael Jackson, Prince and Madonna in attendance. What do we have this year? One Direction and Selena Gomez. No offense to either act, but with the way music fads come and go the chances of both of them being relevant even five years from now are not very likely. For example, five years ago at the VMAs a band won "Best New Artist." The name of that band was Tokio Hotel. And has ANYONE heard of them in the five years that followed? Does that name even ring a bell to anyone? But the names we celebrated in 1980s are still celebrated today.

I am sure that Li'L Kim has been to an award show during her career. Yet for some strange reason when she was out there to present, her co-presenter had to explain that she would be the one to announce who won. I know there wasn't a host to the show, does that mean there wasn't a rehearsal for it either? There is absolutely no reason that awkward moment needed to be televised. And while we are on it, why wasn't there a host? Especially when Kevin Hart came out not once but twice to do recaps and say "I am not hosting!" Clearly we can tell from the awkward dead silence several times during the night.

And then there is the "star" of the night, if you can call her that. Miss Miley Cyrus. I will be completely honest, I am not sure what twerking really is. I have heard the term, but as I have stated in the past I am not the target demographic. Although, Robin Thicke is a month older than I am and it didn't stop her from grinding on him like he was a Beetlejuice porn pole. If you watched the pre-show interview on MTV, she was asked if she was ready for the fans to take her music seriously. She said she was. Then she came out in teddy bear lingerie with giant teddy bears (that she grinded on) and basically stuck a foam number one finger down her pants. That to me in no way shape or form says "Take my music seriously." But I guess it worked. Here it is on Wednesday and we are still talking about it. She wanted publicity; she is getting it. Right now, seven out of the ten "Hot On Buzzfeed" articles are about Miley Cyrus. She is clearly getting the vast majority of this blog and I was completely grossed out by it. I don't know what generated more tweets in the past week, Ben Affleck as Batman or Miley Cyrus. And for the record, both generated negative buzz, but any publicity is considered good publicity, I suppose.

The highlight of the night had to have been the Justin Timberlake award and medley of his hits. I admit that the rumors of an *Nsync reunion were not false, but the end result was a horrible let down. They could have done so much more with that. In the end, it was nice to see all of them back together on stage, no matter how short of a time it was.

My other favorite moment was when Taylor Swift won a moonman and she mentioned something about who the song was about and then the camera cut to One Direction. It was pretty priceless. Though I was waiting for Kanye West to...well Kanye West her all over again. Speaking of Kanye, can someone PLEASE tell me why people think he is talented? The song he sang was not good at all and was highly repetitive.

Well, regardless, another year of the Video Music Awards is behind us. We shall see what 2014 has in store for us... Just please no more Miley...

As always a special thanks to my wonderful fiancée who is also my wonderful editor.

Editor's Note: Hi, fiancée here, just wanted to add a female perspective to the whole Miley Cyrus scandal. During her vomit-inducing performance, Miley did two distinct things, neither of them good. The first was to undo a lot of the good, sexual positivity that the female artists before her pushed for. Madonna led a sexual revolution in the 80s, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, and Destiny's Child promoted independence in the 90s and early 00s and although I can't count myself a fan of either, Rihanna and Lady Gaga pushed some feminine boundaries in the 2010s. Miley was probably trying to craft an act that showed her independence from her childhood Disney Channel image, but instead she failed miserably by grinding against a man old enough to be her father while he sang a pretty rapey song. And how did her actual father feel about it? He loved it, tweeting the (admittedly creepy) "@VMA.'S "Can't Stop" Rock that puppy Sissy!! Enjoy the party...and be thankful for the greatest fans on earth!!! Hope the Bear pays of!!!!" What? Moving on. The second thing Miley Cyrus did on Sunday night that she can't really take full credit for, because if it hadn't been her it would've been someone else, was draw our attention from more pressing issues. Americans are a fame-obsessed people and that's not going to change, but while we were all busy discussing Miley's butt Syria was using chemical weapons on their own people, Egypt is having all kinds of revolution, and Japan is leaking radioactive waste into the Pacific Ocean. Again, what? So, Miley, keep your butt in your pants and your tongue in your mouth and to the rest of you, take some advice from Benedict Cumberbatch.

RIP Icons Edition

They say that celebrities die in threes. Unfortunately in the last four days, they were right.

Legendary film critic Roger Ebert died this past week after a long battle with cancer. With his partner Gene Siskel and later on Richard Roeper, Ebert was by far the most famous film critic in the world. He started reviewing movies back in 1967 for the Chicago Sun-Times and has been reviewing movies ever since. There are few people in this world that loved movies as much as Roger Ebert.  He has also appeared in several movies and television shows, most times as himself. He, along with his two thumbs up, will be missed.  Here is a review he made just last year. He was 70 years old. Because he was a huge fan of the restaurant Steak N Shake, my fiancee and I ate that yesterday in honor of him.

Today we lost Annette Funicello. Along with Frankie Avalon, they were two of the original Mouseketeers. Long before there was Justin and Brtitney, there was Frankie and Annette.She was a child actress and singer.  Annette was discovered by Walt Disney himself in 1955. They continued to be partners for years, making several movies together as well. I first learned of her in a movie called Back To The Beach, also starring Avalon. She was also 70 years old.

Normally, I am only an entertainment blogger.  But there are people that just transcend certain labels. So it is my responsibility to mention that former Prime Minster of Great Britain, Margaret Thatcher has also passed away today. She inspired a movie two years ago starring Meryl Streep. She was 87 years old at the time of her passing.

Saying Goodbye Edition....

Before you get all teary eyed at the name of this week's Entertainment Guru, I am not going anywhere. I just made my not so truimphant return so it's going to take a power outtage of biblical proportions (or a really slow entertainment news week) to slow me down....

This week, after twenty five years on the air Oprah say goodbye. I will admit that I never watched much of Oprah in the past twenty five years. But she did help change the world in mostly positive ways through her talk show. It's because of her we have people like a marriage counselor on TV that has been divorced like five times. No one would know who Dr. Phil was if it wasn't for Oprah. We wouldnt really know who Gayle King was either, except I would because she used to be a newscaster in Connecticut so I had seen her long before she was OBFF (Oprah's Best Friend Forever). In fact, alot of syndicated afternoon shows wouldn't be here if the people who are hosting them didnt know Oprah.

We are also saying goodbye to Jeff Conaway. He died earlier today. It is sad when someone doesn't know how to cope with success so they turn to drinking and drugs, like the case of Conaway. It's a little known fact that if I ever got a chance to be in Grease, I wouldn't want to be Danny Zuko. No, I always thought I would make a great Kinnicki. My hats off to Jeff Conaway for the entertainment through the musical Grease as well as his time on Taxi.

Did you hear? Kim Kardashian is marrying a basketball player. I think we are to the point that when a Kardashian is born, an athlete (most likely a basketball player) should be set aside for the right time... for him to marry her. And for E! to televise every single action that they do.

I am more then impressed with Justin Timberlake these days. Just over a decade ago he was the guy in that little boy band that did ok for themselves. Sure he was in the Mickey Mouse Club when he was even younger, but really... I never expected him to turn into such an actor. He has two great movies coming out this year "Friends With Benefits" and "Bad Teacher" and also hosted the season finale of Saturday Night Live and did a phenomnal job, I might add.