The Let's Go Crazy Edition

This edition is brought to you by Charlie Sheen, who like most of us, likes to trap porn stars in the bathroom of a ritzy hotel and destroy it. I mean, isn't that an every day occurence somewhere in the world. I have one trapped in my bathroom right now. I'd let her out, but I deceided to take a page out of Matthew McConahey's playbook. I'm playing the bongos naked. It's the only way to do it. How come we let celebrities get away with this crazy behavior? If I shaved my head like Britney Spears did a few years ago just out of the blue for no reason.... I'd be in solidary confinement. I mean I have NEVER done anything like that. And by never I mean... hey what's that over there?

Last week saw the return of Coco! Thats right, Conan O'Brien finally was allowed to return to TV on TBS in his new talk show. It's much like his last 2 shows. Even Andy Richter, who once controlled the Universe I'm told, is back as his side kick. On just the 2nd show he splashed a gallon of water on America's Treasure, Tom Hanks. It was just like his 80's classic movie, Splash. Without Daryl Hannah as my 2nd favorite Mermaid, behind Ariel of course.

I know it has been a while since my last update, and for that I apologize. I did try to post one last week with my first ever top ten, but it didn't work out well so hopefully soon I will work out the kinks in that.

Prince William is getting married to his long time love, Kate Middleton. He proposed in Africa. There is a rumor that he will wed her in the same place his parents got married. Yeah, good luck with that!

The Oscar talk is all ready starting. It seems to be early this year. There may be a few comdies that get nominated like "How Do You Know?". And it seems there is also a good chance that Toy Story 3 will get a picture nomination as well, it's atleast guranteed to win best animated.

A Review of Two New Shows Edition

The new season of TV is in full swing, with 4 weeks of new shows and 3 casualities all ready. So let's have a moment of silence for My Generation, Lonestar, and Outlaw who didn't quite make it very long.

I have seen two of the new shows so here is the good and the bad reviews. Starting.... with the bad.... Outsourced....

The basic premise is an American goes to India to run a call center for american novelty products like fake blood, fake vomit and a deer head mounted on your wall that sings "Sweet Home Alabama". None of the people in India get the need for such items. And just like me, I see no need for this show. It was put on Thursday with hits Community, 30 Rock and The Office. Even with those lead in's, there is no way this show makes a 2nd season. Mark my words! I watched the first episode and I had one laugh. The only recongizable name in the show is Diedrach Bader. You may not even recongize the name, but you will know the face from Drew Carey Show and the movie Office Space, among a handful of other places. It's the fish out of water story, but this time it's an American that's not in his usual spot. I am hoping the following shows after the pilot were funnier then the others.

Then we have Hawaii 5.0 on CBS. I had decent hopes for the show but after watching it, I have more then just high hopes for it. It is a good mix of action and comedy plus familar faces from both TV and movies. The action is intense and the first four episodes have all had guest stars that are recongizable. Alex O'Laughlin and Scott Caan are great together, bouncing off each other with the quick comebacks. They are believable together. Add Daniel Dae Kim (TV's Lost) and Grace Park (TV's Battlestar Galactica) to round out the cast. If you haven't had a chance to watch it, I do highly recommend it. It's a nice touch to use the original theme song from the old show as well. Atleast watch the pilot, directed by Len Wiseman of Underworld and Live Free or Die Hard fame.

New TV Season Edition

I know I refer to myself as the Entertainment Guru, but in actuality there are only a few tv shows I watch on a weekly basis. It starts on Sundays, of course with The Simpsons. Has the writting gone down over the years? Yes, unfortunately. But it still can be wildly entertaining from time to time. I don't care if it's on until 3000, I will watch. You know, if I am alive and all.

On Mondays, the one show I can't miss is How I Met Your Mother. Just like everyone I want to know who the mother is, but I don't. Because then the series will end. I also do enjoy Two and A Half Men. And Monday Night Raw

Tuesdays I am going to give Parenthood another shot. I heard it got better as the first season went on. I do find great humor that Parenthood goes up against The Good Wife. Why? Peter Krause is in Parenthood. Josh Charles is in "Good Wife" but to me they will always be Dan and Casey on Sports Night.

Wednesdays are my Ghost Hunters night. Not really listed in New TV Season. So moving on.

Thursdays are Community and 30 Rock plus Destination Truth.

Fridays are Smallville (which I used to be a huge fan of, but with it being the last season I owe it to myself to see how it ends) and Supernatural (Same as Smallville)

And now.... New shows that sound like they could be interesting. I'm marginally interested in The Event, though I hope its not a huge disappointment! I know TV is looking for the next big Lost... and this has that written all over it. I am also interested in Mike and Molly. For those of you who don't know, it's a romantic comedy sitcom about a couple who meets at Overeater's Anonymous. It's got a good pedigree as it comes from Chuck Lorree, who did Two and a Half Men and The Big Bang Theory. We also get an updated Hawaii 5-0, which looks decentThe Big Ratings Winner for Monday (Prediction) - House.

Looks like the big winner for new shows on Tuesday will be Fantastic Four:The TV Show. Better known as No Ordinary Family. To the point Michael Chiklis is in both. ABC also has a new cop show. Yay Cop Drama. LOL The Big Ratings Winner For Tuesday (Prediction) - Glee

If You like lawyers, then you will like Wednesdays. The Whole Truth and The Defenders premiere. We also get a new Law and Order. Add to that spies on Undercovers. The Big Ratings Winner for Wednesday (Prediction)- Modern Family

What does it say about our world when we have a movie based off Facebook (The Social Network) and a TV show based off Twitter (%#'! My Dad Says). The 3 new shows that might make an impact are My Generation on ABC, Outsourced on NBC and Nikita on CW. It's also the last season of the Office with Steve Carrell hence.... The Big Ratings Winner for Thursday - The Office

Fridays mean the return of two TV Vets. Tom Selleck and Jimmy Smits, one's a cop. One's A Lawyer. Hey that would be a great show too! But unfortunately they are on different shows. Different Networks. The Big Ratings Winner for Fridays - CSI:NY

There is NOTHING NEW on Saturday or Sundays. So yeah.... The Big Ratings Winner for Sunday: The Amazing Race!

Dancing With The "Stars" Edition

On Monday ABC announced the new line up for Season 11 of Dancing With The Stars. How can it be Season 11? The show hasn't been on since 1999? Oh. I am thinking again. And once again, the line between star and who actually qualifies as a star is so blurred once again. So I thought I would do my thoughts on the cast of "Stars". Let's start with the people that kind of sort of are stars.

And who better to start with then David Hasselhoff. He may be slightly washed up, but he does qualify as a star, hence no "". He has been a part of 2 major TV series, Knight Rider and Baywatch. He is famous for being a singer in Europe. He was a host for several seasons on "America's Got Talent" and recently was roasted on Comedy Central. He even had an awesome cameo in "Dodgeball. EGNaV Rating= Star!

Next up.... Jennifer Grey. Seriously... don't back her into a corner. Cuz no one puts Baby in a corner. Sorry, had to be done. Legitimate 80's movie star having appeared in "Ferris Beuller's Day Off" and "Dirty Dancing" amongst many other movies. Sure you won't recongize her since she got her nose job but EGNaV Rating= Star!

Kurt Warner is next on the list. For those that don't know who he is, he is a recently retired NFL Quarterback. He fits the requirement for athletes in the competition. A 2 time League MVP and possible Hall of Fame player. EGNaV = Star!

Michael Bolton..... will probably do many dance moves that we have seen before. What? Don't get the reference that all of his big songs were cover songs and when he tried to do original songs they were cheesy and lame like "Can I Touch You There?". He is more famous for the women he has dated then some of his songs.... Not to mention the punchline of Office Space. But, and it kills me to say it, EGNaV Rating = Star. (no exclamation Point for you)

Margaret Cho - I have never been a fan of her stand up comedy. She has starred in her own TV series. She has appeared in movies and other TV shows as well. She isn't exactly a well known name outside of the comedy circle. But comedy isn't easy. And to be a rare Korean Woman Stand up Comedian who has made name reconigion... EGNaV Rating = Star.

Here's The Story... of Florence Henderson.... Carol Brady on Dancing with the Stars? Starred in one of the biggest TV show's of all time? In fact has made a career basically out of the Carol Brady role. And appeared in a Weird Al video. EGNaV Rating = Star!

Rick Fox - 3x NBA Finals winner, of course mostly due to Kobe. Still he was a good player. He is also an actor having appeared in many different shows. he is most known for being married to Vanessa "Save The Best For Last" Williams. Name value isn't high unless you know him from basketball. He is boarderline star.

Kyle Massey - Unless you watch the Disney Channel, you probably have no idea who he is. I know I dont. He was on "That's So Raven" and "Cory In The House". EGNaV Rating = No Name Value... Sorry

Brandy Norwood - R & B singer turned Actress turned Reality show star with her brother and pervert Ray-J. Due to some of her hits and her Grammy, EGNaV Rating = Star!

Audriana Patridge - No, she wasn't part of the Partridge family and I did a typo. She was on MTV's "The Hills" the show that gave us SPIEDI..... Hiedi and Spencer. That right there disqualifies you as a star!

Bristol Palin - Having appeared on an episode of "Secret Life of An American Teenager" and sounding like you were reading off a cue card doesn't qualify you as a star. Being a single teenage Mom with your douchebag of an on again off again Man doesn't make you a star. Being the daughter of former Vice Presidential Candiate Sarah Palin doesn't make you a star. I can keep going? Naming your son after what most people do when they are drunk *Trip, anyone?* doesn't make you a star.... You get the point.

And now... my personal favorite... Mike Sorrentino. What? That name doesn't sound at all familar to you? Yet this person has been all over your TV for the last year. How is that possible? No really... how is someone with that little talent been on your TV for this long? Mikey here is known for 3 things.... drinking.... lots of sex..... and his abs. That's right... the Situation is on DWTS. In other words.... once again, Cue the Shark... DWTS is ready to jump over you!

__________________________________________________________

There is kind of an minor odd connection between two of the "Stars". See if you can figure it out... I will give you a hint... One is male one is female.... and they were both voted as stars by the Entertainment Guru News and Views (EGNaV).

Top Ten Characters

In Entertainment Weekly back in June they listed their top 100 characters of the last 20 years. It's an interesting article, though I don't exactly agree with everything in their list. So it gave me the idea to make my own list. I am sure there will be people who will disagree with my list as well, and I kind of expect that.

10. Ron Burgundy - Anchorman Yes, the character is a cheesy character. But deep down Ron was a caring man. He loved his dog Baxter. Who else would have PJ's for a dog? Throughout the course of the movie, Ron grew up and cared for Veronica as well. I think other then his character in Old School, this was Will Ferrell's best work.


9. Homer Simpson - Simpsons This was Entertainment Weekly's number one character in their list. He comes in at number 9 for me. Again, he pretends not to care about anything other then beer and pretzels. But deep down, Homer cares for his family. He has lived a crazy life, including his stint as a car salesman with his brother and also wound up in space with Barney.



8. Duncan MacLeod - Highlander People want to romanticize Edward Cullen in Twillight. But you know what, Duncan MacLeod was everything Cullen was before the books were written. He is immortal. He has lived for hundreds of years and reluctant to show his emotions or let anyone get close to him because he knew he would out live them. He always kept people at an arm's length, both as friends and more. But he let a few people in. I enjoy the movies as well, but I highly recommend the television show if you haven't seen it.



7. Chandler Bing - Friends I liked most of the Friends (Honestly, wasn't a huge Phoebe fan) but I am a huge fan of Chandler. Mostly due to the sarcasm that we both tend to use. He was loyal to all his Friends. He even loved his Chick and Duck!



6. Marty McFly - Back To The Future - By far Michael J. Fox's best movie character (Hard to argue McFly vs Alex P. Keaton, that's a debate for another time). There was just something about those movies. He just wanted to play his guitar and next thing you know his mother is in love with him. They just looked like fun movies to make.



5. Eric Cartman - South Park - Clearly not the smartest or nicest person on the list. But you know when Cartman is schemeing something funny is about to happen. He didnt care what people thought of him. He was a selfish character. He just was out for himself. But you can't argue he wasn't an original character. Though he would argue... he isn't fat. Just big boned.



4. Barney Stinson - How I Met Your Mother - No body is a bigger womanizer then Barney. But again. Just like most of my favorite characters he pretends not to care, but when push comes to shove if you need someone to help you... Barney would. He just wouldn't let you know that he was the one to help you. He is stylish and funny. And of course, Barney is awesome. Just ask him. He will tell you!



3. Randal Graves - Clerks Sarcastic. Check! Movie obsessed? Check! Kind of sounds familar. Doesnt it? Just like Cartman, he doesn't care what you think. He will tell you exactly what is on his mind. He doesn't hold back. Right or wrong, he will tell you exactly what is on his mind. If it offends you, that's your problem. Not his.



2. Dr. Percy Cox - Scrubs Are yoiu picking up a theme here? I am a huge fan of characters that speak their mind. Nobody rants quite like Dr. Cox can. I personally can connect with him as well. I see a little bit of him in me, especially at work. Part of me hopes that I am viewed the same way.



1. Ari Gold - Entourage. Another loud mouthed, foul mouth character. When he isn't in your face screaming at you, he wants to hug it out. He didn't even make it into EW's list, which really surprised me. But he tops my list of great characters!

There are some honorable mentions like Doc Brown and Biff Tannen from Back to The Future, Aldous Snow from Forgetting Sarah Marshall, William Miller from Almost Famous, Austin Powers, Stifler from American Pie and Kirk Lazarus from Tropic Thunder.

The Other Guys Review Edition

I just saw "The Other Guys" with Mark Wahlberg and Will Ferrell. It was pretty funny. There wasn't much that wasn't fun in the entire movie. Even with as many times as I saw the trailer to the movie, it was still painfully hysterical. It was good to see Wahlberg in a comedy role. Though he played the straight guy out of the comedy duo, he was still very funny. Michael Keaton co-starred as a Captain of the NYPD who has a weird obsession with the band TLC, though he claims not to know who they are. I highly recommend the movie. I give it four out of five stars. There was parts of the movie that just seemed to be added for the comedy, instead of making it part of the story. Duane Johnson and Samuel L. Jackson's extended cameos were just flat out the best part of the movie!

Recently Jennifer Aniston got in trouble for appearing on "Live With Regis and Kelly". Not for actually appearing on it, but in the process she dropped the R word. It was an off the cup comment and as usual people took it over the top. She didn't mean anything by it! People need to relax!

Coming soon is my list of top ten movie/TV characters in the last twenty years!

The *Bleeping* *Bleep* Jail House Edition

,Yes, I know it has been absolutely a long time since the last update, so here I am with the biggest stories out of Hollywood.

Where to start with? How about Mel Gibson? He is the Bleeping Bleep part of the title. He starred in so many great action movies but who would have thought his most lethal weapon was his mouth? I am not saying I am on his side or his ex-wife's side. I think they both have issues. This isn't the first celebrity she married after all. She was once tied to former 007 actor Timothy Dalton, who at the time was a big action star too. We should have known from his arrest on DUI and "The Passion Of the Christ" that something is terribly wrong with Mel Gibson. But I don't think anyone could have seen those leaked audio tapes coming. He makes Alec Baldwin look like father of the year. And let's face it, that's quite the task! Does anyone deserve to be talked to like that? No, of course not. But I really think she things on purpose just to push his buttons. Cuz I know that I record EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY CONVERSATIONS. How come that hasn't really been asked?

Switching gears, several editions ago I mentioned that Robert Downey Jr could do no wrong. If you doubt that, check out the trailer for his new movie with Zach Galifininakas called "Due Date".
http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi1921254937/

Did you see President Obama on the view? He had no idea who Snookie is. I wonder what the Situation thinks of that? I think it would be a hysterical image to watch the Obamas sitting at home watching Jersey Shore. That should be a weekly TV show. And for the record, how could it be called Jersey Shore if they are in Miami?

Former American Idol winner Carrie Underwood got married recently. Congratulations to her. She married hockey player Mike Fisher.... uh huh. That's right the force is with her now. Because she is now Carrie Fisher! Speaking of American Idol, it was announced that after just one season Ellen Degeneres will be leaving the show. No word on her replacement. There is a rumor that by Monday we will know who is replacing Simon Cowell.

Does anyone really care that Lindsay Lohan is in prison? Cause quite honestly I don't. Her career has stalled. She is more known for her lesbian relationship with Samantha Ronson and being a party girl then she is for any role in a movie recently. What was her last hit? Mean Girls. In 2004! Here it is 2010. She does appear in the new movie Machete which has a huge cast including Michelle Rodriquez, Don Johnson, Steven Seagal and Robert Deniro. I'm not sure which is odder. Steven Seagal and Robert Deniro in the same movie. Or Deniro and Lohan in the same flick. Or Lohan and Seagal. I am so confused.

30 Rock is rumored to do a live edition of their show. Ask "Drew Carey show" how gimmick shows draw ratings.